Afternoon clubbing- a great idea to support venues, but just pitched at the wrong age group

I knew folk who, in their 20s, acted like auld men, and I know some in their 60s with three times the energy and drive than anyone in the younger generations.

Age is just a number. Old age is an attitude - not a hook for marketing folk to hang their latest wheezes upon, because, the more they do, the more the cliches are re-inforced.

This week saw the announcement of daytime discos for the over 30s in Dundee and Stirling. Anything that gets people supporting local bars and clubs has to be applauded, but I found the thinking behind the idea utterly patronising.

It goes like this. Folk in their 30s haven’t got time for late nights any more. They’ve got mortgages, bairns and jobs - and would rather be home at a decent hour than braving the human debris that can be found in takeaway joints come the wrong side of 2:00am.

It’s complete cobblers, and always has been, but, say it often enough and folk start to think ‘hhmm, maybe there is something in this’ and so afternoon clubbing was born.

I can think of nothing more manufactured than the atmosphere of a club in the middle of the day, where you are being urged by a DJ to hit the floor and dance like no-one is watching. There’s a reason they are called night-clubs - the clue is in the description. The Hacienda at half past two on a Tuesday? Grab a granny at Jackie O on a Wednesday lunchtime? Gimme a break.

I probably went out more, and stayed out later, in my 30s and 40s than at any time in my life. I didn’t feel old or past it even when the mornings after the night before reminded me that Jack Daniels is not my friend after a night on the beer, and tequila should be avoided at absolutely all costs.

Full marks to the industry for trying to think out of the box. If there is a market for afternoon clubbing then open it up to all - just stop being so age-ist or I’ll slap your chops with my driving gloves and use the elbow patches on my cardigan to maximum effect.

In our heyday of going out - we were never clubbers, just folk who went to clubs - we never once felt out of place. There were always folk older and younger than us, and everyone just mixed.

I recall some fine lock-ins at Kitty’s and Thunder Road which only stopped when the police phone to say the next inspector had started his shift and wanted us out. In Edinburgh, my mate and I would regularly roll out of Fingers Piano Bar at silly o’clock, and we once strolled out of Espionage around 5:30am both appalled we were out that late and secretly chuffed we could still do it.

Now we’re all turning 60, nights out change once more, but they don’t exclude hitting the town and staying out longer and having more fun than folk a third of our age. Maybe the afternoon discos should be aimed at young folk who seem to have abandoned nights out in favour of staying in and communicating digitally. Maybe they are the ones who should be lured back to the dance floors and still be able to get away up the road while it is still light ...